“I want to dare to exist, and more than that, to live audaciously, in all my imperfect, lumpy, scarred glory, because the alternative is letting shame win.” ~Shauna Niequist
I kept my head down. Staring at my plate of food.
I could hear the laughter of the other people around the table – work colleagues, my bosses, a couple of high-profile clients. They were having a great time, enjoying the company and their expensive meals.
I felt light-headed and clammy as I battled to fake a calm and relaxed appearance. My finger nails left painful, crimson marks where I dug them into my palms to distract myself from the overwhelming anxiety.
The whole situation was a nightmare I wanted to escape. But I couldn’t have refused my boss’s invitation. Not again.
I had dreaded this evening since I learned about it. The prospect of social interactions with my superiors in a formal setting made me sick with worry. I tried to prepare myself, convince myself that the event was no threat, work up confidence beforehand.
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