a post by Will Williams for the World of Psychology blog
Low self-esteem can turn our lives into a series of self-fulfilling prophecies. Lack of belief in ourselves – the feeling that we are unworthy, or destined to fail – often goes hand in hand with self-sabotage, and this link can be hard to break.
Whether it’s thinking that we’re bound to be bad at something and not trying our best, believing that no one could truly love us so pushing our partners away, or accepting bad treatment simply because a small part of ourselves thinks that we deserve it; low self-esteem can color our whole lives. And in a vicious cycle, the reality which is the result of these actions can confirm our own worst fears about ourselves.
It can also create a strange sense of satisfaction, one that those with low self-esteem cling on to. It might be the twisted vindication of “There! I knew they never really loved me!” when a partner finally leaves, or the sense of inevitability that comes with not getting recognition at work – even though we never have the confidence to assert ourselves.
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