Tell me if this is a familiar scenario: Somebody asks you to do something and you almost immediately agree, even though it’s not something you want to do. Maybe it’s at work — you take on extra responsibilities even though you’re swamped. Or maybe it’s at home — you agree to help a friend next weekend, but you’re overworked, under-rested, or maybe your toddler just started preschool and isn’t adjusting to the new sleep schedule.
As soon as you say yes to this new responsibility, something inside locks up. You start to think about all the ways this is going to put you out. You think about the last time you helped this person and how they didn’t seem to appreciate it. Maybe you lost sleep, lost money, had an argument with your spouse over it.
You think of excuses, hoping it’s not too late to back out. But you also don’t want to break your word. Either way, you start to feel resentful, used, annoyed, unappreciated. The relationship you have with this person, whether it is personal or professional, suffers. You don’t have great feelings about Deborah anymore. You swear you won’t help her again, but you might be wrong. After all, you have poor personal boundaries.
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