Communicating with someone who has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) can be confusing. Facial expressions don’t always match the situation and even what is communicated through words can feel irrelevant or crazy-making. Language is one of the key tools of manipulation for someone diagnosed with NPD.
When two non-disordered people engage in conversation, they talk to each other. When someone with NPD enters into a discussion, he/she talks at the person. By continuous talking (i.e., talking over someone else or talking quickly to avoid another person’s point of view) the narcissist may wear out someone’s ability to disagree with what they are saying.
They may also use roundabout logic that does not make any sense, but by the time the narcissist has finished speaking, you may not know where to begin questioning. It is often easier to agree. By reaffirming what is being said, even by grunting or nodding, the narcissist can then use that agreement as a binding contract.
A common trait in NPD is compulsive lying. Sometimes they will fabricate information that was once true to make the lie more believable to others. Sometimes they may even go so far as to convince themselves of their lies. Other times they will lie about unbelievable and grandiose fantasies that could not possibly be true. Since the narcissist often resides in a fantasy world to create the “reality” that is best needed to suit their image, they sometimes do not understand the line between fantasy and truth.
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