a post by Christine Hammond for The Exhausted Woman blog [via World of Psychology]
Margo knew she messed up but she wasn’t sure how. Her husband’s complete silence towards her over the last few days was a signal that she made some sort of mistake. The problem was, according to him, she made daily errors in judgement, so she was completely in the dark.
Did she drink too much at her husband’s office party and say something embarrassing? Or perhaps he is upset over the new pile on the kitchen counter? Could it be that she spent too much on groceries because they are trying to eat healthy? Or did he see her sarcastic text message to a friend about how she was in the doghouse with him again?
Normally, Margo would just confess to everything, apologize, and beg him to start talking again. She hated the silence. He would reluctantly accept her remorse, lecture her about the incidents, and then slowly reengage. Unfortunately, within a couple of weeks the same cycle would repeat but not this time.
This time, Margo decided she had enough. She was done being treated like a child. She began to see how he used silence as a way to control her behavior and get her to accept excessive responsibility. In the beginning of their relationship, she saw his uncommunicativeness as sophistication, now she saw it as manipulation. But she needed to understand this subtle abuse tactic better. Here are the many ways the silent treatment is used to abuse others.
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