Sister, brother, husband, wife, aunt, uncle, or friend. There are many different roles that important people may play in your life. But no role is anything remotely like your parents.
The people who brought you into this world are special, and they enjoy some very special privileges. Privileges you would probably never award to anyone else under any other circumstances.
Any mental health professional will tell you that it is extremely hard for even strong, capable adults to set limits with their parents and hold them accountable, no matter how much harm the parents may do in their children’s adult lives.
In many ways, holding our parents accountable is one of the most difficult for us human beings to do. Between our own biology and the messages we hear every day from the culture around us, it’s impossible to not receive the megaphoned party line: that our parents are to be loved, respected, and given authority over our lives, no matter what.
As a therapist, I have stood by helplessly and watched scores of wonderful people allow their parents to hurt them over and over emotionally — and sometimes even physically. I have watched many strong people put their parents’ needs and wishes ahead of their own, to their own great detriment.
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