8 Ways Childhood Neglect Affected Your Life

a post by Darius Cikanavicius for the Psychology of Self blog [via World of Psychology]



Most people have experienced childhood neglect to one degree or another at some point during their lives. Of those, many don’t even recognize it as neglect or abuse because people tend to idealize their childhood upbringing or even defend child abuse in order to cope with their own unpleasant feelings.

It’s easier to recognize that there’s something wrong when you feel physical pain, for instance, when being beaten or sexually assaulted. It is much more confusing when you have an emotional need but the caregiver is unable or unwilling to recognize and meet that need.

This is especially true when you are also taught that your role is to meet the caregiver’s needs, that you are “very problematic,” or that you shouldn’t question how the caregiver treats you because you are just a child.

But childhood neglect is damaging, and a person can struggle with its effects for the rest of their adult life.

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Why I No Longer Believe There’s Something Wrong with Me

a post by Zachary Goodson for the Tiny Buddha blog


“Our thoughts create our beliefs, meaning if you think about yourself a certain way for a long enough period of time you will ultimately believe it.” ~Anonymous

You’re ugly. You’re stupid. You’re a loser.

Imagine thinking this way about yourself every day. No exaggeration. That was me.

When a girl didn’t want to go on a second date with me, I told myself I was ugly. When I didn’t know what someone was talking about, I told myself I was stupid. When my Instagram post only received two likes, I told myself I was loser.

I spoon-fed myself toxic thoughts like these on a daily basis for years. And what’s worse is I believed them.

But why? Where do these toxic thoughts and beliefs even come from? Well, for most of us they come from our childhoods, and they are largely based on experiences with our caregivers.

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Why Millions Of People Need To Say “No More” To Their Parents

a post by Jonice Webb for the Childhood Emotional Neglect blog [via World of Psychology]



Sister, brother, husband, wife, aunt, uncle, or friend. There are many different roles that important people may play in your life. But no role is anything remotely like your parents.

The people who brought you into this world are special, and they enjoy some very special privileges. Privileges you would probably never award to anyone else under any other circumstances.

Any mental health professional will tell you that it is extremely hard for even strong, capable adults to set limits with their parents and hold them accountable, no matter how much harm the parents may do in their children’s adult lives.

In many ways, holding our parents accountable is one of the most difficult for us human beings to do. Between our own biology and the messages we hear every day from the culture around us, it’s impossible to not receive the megaphoned party line: that our parents are to be loved, respected, and given authority over our lives, no matter what.

As a therapist, I have stood by helplessly and watched scores of wonderful people allow their parents to hurt them over and over emotionally — and sometimes even physically. I have watched many strong people put their parents’ needs and wishes ahead of their own, to their own great detriment.

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Childhood Neglect and the Impact of Invalidation

a post by Rebecca Lee for the World of Psychology blog



What happens when “nothing” happens? A lot. Childhood and adolescent neglect can have a profound and lasting impact on adults. Unlike sexual and physical abuse, some may find it difficult to understand the impact that absence had on their life. While neglect is a form of abuse, since the “action” of the crime is the lack thereof, identifying the problem may be tricky.

What is neglect?

• Failure to provide basic needs such as food, supervision, and shelter
• Allowing a child to use alcohol or drugs
• Failure to educate a child/provide schooling
• Failure to provide medical attention

Aside from basic survival, one need that frequently arises when a parent is not physically or emotionally available, is the need to be validated. When there is no one around, how does a child know they “count”? How do they know their feelings matter or if they even exist?

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