“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” ~Kahlil Gibran
You’re stupid. You’re a loser. You’re worthless. You will never amount to anything. You’re not worthy of love. These are things I’ve told myself throughout my life.
The experiences I had throughout my childhood led me to believe I was deeply unlovable. I thought that because I had been abused and ignored, there was something seriously wrong with me.
That’s what abuse and neglect does. It seeps inside you down to the deepest level. It changes you in every way.
You begin to feel as if you don’t matter. You blame yourself, thinking maybe you did something bad enough to deserve it.
You push people away. You build walls because it’s easier than letting people in and letting them get to know you.
You sabotage anything that could turn out to be good because you believe you don’t deserve to have good things.
You may look for any little thing in a relationship that would make you feel justified in running for the hills because when someone shows you love, it terrifies you.
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Hazel’s comment
Interesting that Tina talks about running for the hills (wanting to or actually doing it) to get away from love. I snatched at what I thought was love when I should have been running. Paid the price for getting it wrong.
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