Our thoughts and emotions generally dictate what we do. Which makes sense since we act based on the information our brains automatically give us. So if we’re anxious about speaking in public, we probably will avoid it. After all, we interpret it as a threat, and our brains—and bodies—don’t like threats. If we’re sad, deeply sad, we might isolate ourselves, for days, because we yearn to be alone. If we’re angry with our spouse, we might yell and say mean things because we can taste the rage.
But there are times, like in the instances above, when acting on our emotions isn’t helpful or is downright destructive. There are also times when our emotions don’t match a situation.
This is when a skill from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) called “opposite action” is invaluable. It’s a skill that helps us to manage our emotions, enhance our relationships and enhance our lives. It’s a skill that helps us make more healthful decisions.
“Opposite action is essentially doing the opposite of what the emotion is telling you to do,” said Sheri van Dijk, MSW, RSW, who specializes in DBT and has penned several books on the treatment. “We use this skill when we recognize that an emotion is not warranted by the situation, or when the emotion is getting in the way of our ability to act effectively, with the aim of reducing that emotion.”
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