a post by Margarita Tartakovsky for the World of Psychology blog
Having solid, strong boundaries is a vital way to take great care of ourselves. After all, boundaries protect our time, our (physical and emotional) energy, and our well-being. Boundaries help us to honor our feelings, and ultimately, our needs.
According to psychotherapist Mara Hirschfeld, LMFT, we can think of boundaries as a personal rulebook that informs others how to treat us, and specifically what is and isn’t OK.
Even though boundaries are critical for practicing compassionate self-care, many of us aren’t very good at setting them. Namely, we say yes when we really want to say no. Because in the moment it’s so much easier to shout “yes!” than to decline, which can be awkward and uncomfortable.
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One example resonated with me “lending money to someone who hasn't paid back the last amount borrowed”. Not only did I say “yes” but a couple of times I actually offered her money. Now she has got a Debt Relief Order so I can’t even sue her for the return of my money.
Yes, I can afford it just about but that’s not the point.
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