How to Ask for What You Want and Need (No, It’s Not Selfish)

a post by Alexandra Baker for the Tiny Buddha blog

“It's not selfish to put yourself first—it's self-full.” ~Iyanla Vanzant

I’ve always thought of myself as individualistic. When I was a teenager, I often felt the desire to go against the grain, dressing alternatively and shunning bands my peers liked because I felt they were too popular. So it came as a huge surprise to me when my therapist called me a people pleaser the other day.

I recently started cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia, and during the first session my therapist identified that I put other people’s needs and wants ahead of my own.

He’d asked me to give an example of a situation that is currently making me anxious (since anxiety is both a cause and symptom of insomnia), and I told him a landscaper made a mistake in my yard and I was feeling bad asking him to fix it.

Continue reading This post made a great deal of sense to me.

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