Use This 4 Step Technique to Decide if You Can Trust Your Feelings or Not

a post by Jonice Webb for the Childhood Emotional Neglect blog [via World of Psychology]



Whether you realize it or not, every minute of every day, you are experiencing feelings.

Whether it’s a burst of frustration when you realize you forgot your keys, a second of peaceful calm as you recall your day at the beach last month, or a pang of painful helplessness when you think of a family member who is struggling with addiction, emotions come and go, one after another, constantly.

Just as your physical feelings reside in your body, so do your emotions. Many people describe feeling sadness in their belly, anxiety in their throat, anger in their chest or arms, for example. Where you feel your feelings is unique to you, but rest assured that you have feelings, and if you focus in on a feeling, you can locate it in your body.

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You Are Not Your Thoughts

a post by Tracy Shawn for the World of Psychology blog



Listen closely because what I’m about to share with you may help release years of unnecessary stress, confusion, and emotional exhaustion.

Simply put: You are not your thoughts.

Please repeat that to yourself three more times, as it can be an important realization on your path to emotional peace. Yes, the brain is a powerful thing and when we focus on our goals, we can make them happen. But… it’s not our thoughts themselves that bring things to fruition, it’s our actions.

The premise that we are our thoughts and that somehow just thinking (or even obsessing!) about something will draw that energy to us and magically make it happen is just that: magical.

If our thoughts, alone, were that powerful, then the world would have ended many a century ago (think about how long doomsayers have been predicting the end of time). Our population would probably be at most a quarter of what it is today (think about all the worries that plague the minds of most parents). And almost all of us would be dead or dying at this very moment due to concerning thoughts, which include deadly diseases, accidents, and, well, the fear of death itself.

Although Freud proposed that thoughts are innately related to who we are, the more modern system cognitive behavioral therapists follow is that thoughts are merely thoughts — not indicators that paint a picture of who we are. In fact, thoughts are often in direct opposition to the thinker. People who suffer from OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) and anxiety often ruminate about the darkest of fears, as they have been shown to actually be more conscientious than the average person and, thus, obsess about whatever horrid thoughts come to the surface because they are so horrified that they are having them.

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Unwanted Thoughts? Don't Try to Suppress Them

a post by Therese J. Borchard for the World of Psychology blog



We all do it.

We try to wish our thoughts away. When our mind turns to a stressful work situation, a craving for a cigarette, or a fantasy we shouldn’t be having, we immediately try to remove the thought from the grey matter of our brains. We start a random conversation with the person next to us, we concentrate harder on a work assignment, or we put our index fingers in our ears, and sing, “La la la la, I can’t hear you!”

Consider every long song you hear on the radio. How many begin or end with the lyrics, “I can’t get you out of mind”? The human brain is conditioned to obsess — its negative bias makes us worry and fret. Despite our valiant efforts to shift our thoughts, they follow us into the shower and to work meetings.

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How to Take Back Control from the Negative Script in Your Head

a post by Kathryn Reay for the Tiny Buddha blog


“You don’t have to control your thoughts. You just have to stop letting them control you.” ~Dan Millman

I’d love to say I had an “Eat, Pray, Love” moment where sitting sobbing in the bathroom I received divine guidance to leave my husband and go traveling the world eating amazing food. But sadly, it wasn’t quite that profound.

It was more a long series of nights sobbing in the bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror, and concluding “You’re broken.”

I wasn’t depressed and hadn’t been for a long time. My anxiety, a lifelong companion, was under control. So what was wrong?

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20 Things You Don’t Have to Apologize For

a post by Lori Deschene for the Tiny Buddha blog



If you’re anything like me, you apologize far too often, and most of the time, when you haven’t done anything wrong.

Sometimes we apologize for things beyond our control – like bad weather during a party we’re hosting.

Sometimes we apologize when someone else was actually in the wrong – when a waiter brings us food not cooked to our specifications, for example.

And sometimes we apologize for life choices we have every right to make – like the decision to change jobs, or end a relationship.

This one is definitely for me. I learned a long time ago that feelings are neither right nor wrong  – they just are.
10. You shouldn't have to apologize for how you feel. You may need to apologize for how you act on your feelings, but never for being hurt, angry, sad, etc., and expressing how you feel. There’s a difference. ~NathanArisa Ferree

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