Use This 4 Step Technique to Decide if You Can Trust Your Feelings or Not

a post by Jonice Webb for the Childhood Emotional Neglect blog [via World of Psychology]



Whether you realize it or not, every minute of every day, you are experiencing feelings.

Whether it’s a burst of frustration when you realize you forgot your keys, a second of peaceful calm as you recall your day at the beach last month, or a pang of painful helplessness when you think of a family member who is struggling with addiction, emotions come and go, one after another, constantly.

Just as your physical feelings reside in your body, so do your emotions. Many people describe feeling sadness in their belly, anxiety in their throat, anger in their chest or arms, for example. Where you feel your feelings is unique to you, but rest assured that you have feelings, and if you focus in on a feeling, you can locate it in your body.

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You Are Not Your Thoughts

a post by Tracy Shawn for the World of Psychology blog



Listen closely because what I’m about to share with you may help release years of unnecessary stress, confusion, and emotional exhaustion.

Simply put: You are not your thoughts.

Please repeat that to yourself three more times, as it can be an important realization on your path to emotional peace. Yes, the brain is a powerful thing and when we focus on our goals, we can make them happen. But… it’s not our thoughts themselves that bring things to fruition, it’s our actions.

The premise that we are our thoughts and that somehow just thinking (or even obsessing!) about something will draw that energy to us and magically make it happen is just that: magical.

If our thoughts, alone, were that powerful, then the world would have ended many a century ago (think about how long doomsayers have been predicting the end of time). Our population would probably be at most a quarter of what it is today (think about all the worries that plague the minds of most parents). And almost all of us would be dead or dying at this very moment due to concerning thoughts, which include deadly diseases, accidents, and, well, the fear of death itself.

Although Freud proposed that thoughts are innately related to who we are, the more modern system cognitive behavioral therapists follow is that thoughts are merely thoughts — not indicators that paint a picture of who we are. In fact, thoughts are often in direct opposition to the thinker. People who suffer from OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) and anxiety often ruminate about the darkest of fears, as they have been shown to actually be more conscientious than the average person and, thus, obsess about whatever horrid thoughts come to the surface because they are so horrified that they are having them.

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Thinking Is Hard Work, Don't Let Someone Else Do It for You

a post by Linda Sapadin for the World of Psychology blog



Do you know a smart person who rigidly holds on to an irrational belief system? It could be something they “have” to do for no good reason. Or, it could be feeling angry with other people whom they don’t even know. Or, it could be feeling scared whenever anything changes. If you know someone like that, you know how frustrating it can be to understand how that person’s brain works — even if it’s your own.

Perhaps I can shed some light on it.
From childhood on, we all seek a set of rules which help us navigate the world we live in. It’s time to wake up, get dressed, go to work, come home, have dinner, etc., etc. Once the rules are in place, we don’t have to think all the time. We just follow the rules. Life is calm. Life is certain.

When the rules collapse, however, (i.e., you lose your job) you must think about a whole lot of things. “What do I do now? How should I do it? Whom should I speak to?” So much to figure out!

It’s then that you realize that so much thinking can become tiresome. Hence, you may become openly rebellious, “I’m not taking this crap anymore.” Or you may silently rebel, “Too much change! I want my old life back!”

You want to solve your problem. You want predictability. You want relief from the chaos swirling around in your head. You crave a new set of rules to help you manage your world without a constant need to evaluate, analyze, deliberate, study, and enmesh yourself in all this tiring thinking.

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The 10 Most Important Things We Can Do for the People We Love

a post by Lori Deschene for the Tiny Buddha blog



People. Life is all about people.

We don’t have to have a ton of relationships, but we all need people in our lives who get us. Who’ve seen our freak flag countless times and love when it comes out.

People who tag us on memes that capture our spirit, or Tasty videos they know we’d drool over. People who text us with random pictures of bumper stickers or book covers or bath mats or beard accessories with a note that reads “Saw this and thought of you.”

We all need these kind of close connections to feel a sense of security and belonging in the world.

We need people who think of us, look out for us, accept us, bring out the best in us, and challenge us to be the best us we can possibly be. And we need to be that person for them.

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