It’s easy to look at self-assured people and wish, “Oh, if only I could be that confident, that self-assured, that easy-going.” Well, let me tell you that lots of those people, who look so self-assured, aren’t. They feel shy, shaky, even terrified on the inside, yet they present as competent and confident on the outside.
Don’t believe me? Listen to the successful actress Katherine Hepburn who confessed that, “Everyone thought I was bold and fearless, even arrogant, but inside I was always quaking.”
Or author Erica Jong who admitted that “I have accepted fear as a part of life and I’ve gone ahead despite the pounding in my heart that says turn back, turn back, you’ll die if you venture too far.”
Acting courageously does not mean you feel no fear. On the contrary, courage is the art of doing what needs to be done even when you’re frightened out of your wits. Is this tough to do? Absolutely. Is it worth the struggle? No doubt about it. If you can muster up the courage to do what you want (and need) to do, you’ll discover that over time, pretend courage morphs into real courage. In short, you can “fake it till you make it.”
But what if you’re just not up to it? What if you have taken the easy route, giving in to your fears? If you’re avoiding what’s uncomfortable on occasion? No big deal! If avoidance has become your lifestyle? A very big deal! Avoidance as a behavioral strategy creates a “void” in you. An emptiness. A blankness. Something’s supposed to be there, but it’s not. Though you may feel momentary relief, you remain mired in fear, unable to move forward to grow, to blossom, to become a more confident you.
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