Five Ways to Avoid Growth

a post by Marie Hartwell-Walker for the World of Psychology blog



The opening sentence in M. Scott Peck’s book, The Road Less Traveled, is this: “Life is difficult.” It’s a line that is famous for its honesty and brevity. Life is, in fact, difficult if one is paying attention. That doesn’t mean that it is joyless or that it is too hard. The statement is simply a recognition that to become our best selves it is necessary to accept that the journey isn’t always smooth. Indeed, it shouldn’t be. Growth comes from facing obstacles and solving problems.

It’s only human to back away from what is difficult or painful. But doing so can result in a kind of spinning of our psychological wheels. Getting out of the muck means recognising the muck we’ve sunk into and finding a new way out so we can grow.

So you can avoid growth by not doing the things that Marie advocates!

Continue reading to find out what they are!

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20 Brilliant Ways People Avoid Their Feelings (and the Havoc it Wreaks)

a post by Jonice Webb for the Childhood Emotional Neglect blog [via World of Psychology]



We humans are connected by a river that runs through us all. It’s a powerful river, deep and still in some places, frothy and rapid in others, yet sometimes dry and arid, and other times flooded.

We are all stimulated, challenged, warmed, cooled, driven, and connected by the emotions that are biologically wired into us at birth.

An important fact that most people never consider: We cannot choose what we feel.

The feelings we naturally feel are biological and automatic. Emotions arise automatically from our deepest self, a deeply personal expression of who we are, what we want, what we need, what we enjoy and who we like.

Our emotions tell us when we need to protect ourselves (fear), when to prepare (anxiety), when to reach out (lonely), when to let go (grief), and what we need (longing). They also tell us much more about ourselves, if we would only listen.

It is also true that, however useful our feelings are, they can hurt us. Feeling sadness, rage, grief or pain can be deeply unpleasant. Especially when we do not know what to do with those feelings.

In truth, it is our responsibility to listen to our feelings, use them to guide and connect us, and also manage them.

But if you grew up in a family that did not know how emotions work and did not teach you how to listen to your feelings, use them, and manage them (the definition of an emotionally neglectful family or Childhood Emotional Neglect or CEN), you may find yourself with only one trick up your sleeve when you come upon rapids in the river.

Unfortunately, it’s the lowest common denominator of tricks and the trickiest of tricks. Because it seems to work but it only makes things worse.

Avoidance.

Continue reading

Hazel’s comment:
You will get a word picture of my husband of 38 years! Not been an easy ride particularly as he self-medicates with alcohol.

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The Psychology of Money: What You Need To Know To Have A (Relatively) Fearless Financial Life

an article by Prudy Gourguechon in Forbes [brought to us by World of Psychology’s “Around the Net”]


No one is entirely rational when it comes to money. We don’t create and follow a budget or save something every paycheck though we believe it would be in our best interest. We know we need a financial plan but put off the work involved; somehow it never happens. We spend too much out of recklessness or exuberance, or too little out of guilt. Our money behavior often causes shame.

It’s worth thinking about money as something with which you have a complex relationship. Your money (and more broadly your personal finances) is not a fixed entity, but rather a complex of data points, challenges and opportunities you circle around, interact with and have feelings about. You make decisions about money that impact your financial situation and these impacts in turn reciprocally affect your feelings and future behaviors. And it’s a relationship that evolves over a lifetime.

Here are three key things to know about the psychology behind our personal relationships with money:

• Emotion plays a huge role.
• Anxiety and avoidance create a vicious cycle.
• Psychologically, you can’t entirely escape your family and your past.

Continue reading

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I Want You to Shine: Simple Tips to Live the Mindful and Present Life of Your Dreams

a post by Mirrissa D Price for the World of Psychology blog



We are surrounded by the message to “live in the moment.” But sometimes, the moment just seems too hard to manage. Our breath shortens and muscles tighten, and all we want to do is break free from the present. This experience happens to us all — a medical exam we want to avoid, a work project we want to erase from our plate. It’s all we can do to breathe and take a step forward.

The thing is, that stress and fear are what continuously hold us back. And they exist in the present. As a result, the only place to handle them is in the here and now.

So I am, for a moment, going to be like all the others — because I want you to feel free of the worry and to tell you what you’ve heard one hundred times before: live in the present. Sit in the present. Be present.

But don’t sit in that hard-to-manage present unprepared and alone. Instead, equip yourself with these simple reminders today, so that you can face your fear and worry with your truest strength:

Continue reading

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