Empowering Youth to Protect Themselves from Dating Abuse

a post by Bonnie McClure for the World of Psychology blog



I was in college the first time I remember anyone mentioning patterns of domestic violent behaviour to me. We had a guest speaker give a presentation about her personal experience of becoming involved in an abusive relationship where control dynamics were the central player. She described in retrospective reflection the early days of her relationship. She mentioned her partner ordering for her at a restaurant.

“That’s sweet.” I thought. I did not recognise the early signs of control she was foreshadowing.

Later in a Health and Wellness class, I learned about the warning signs of an abusive relationship:

1. Extreme jealousy and distrust
2. Constant belittling and put-downs
3. Explosive temper
4. Isolation from friends and family
5. Possessiveness
6. Control
7. Emotional manipulation

In bewilderment, I realised my boyfriend at the time checked every item on the list. But I continued to deny the harm in his actions, explaining them away and re-framing them with justifications. I was not able to acknowledge our unhealthy relationship until conditions became severe enough that I was forced to.

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Labels:
control, abusive_behaviour, domestic_violence,

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