I regularly talk about the importance of being honest with ourselves. Because when we take the time (and proceed despite the discomfort) to acknowledge how we’re doing, what we’re feeling, and what is really going on inside our hearts, we can make wise, supportive decisions. We can take wise, supportive steps. We can meet our needs. We can ask others for what we need (instead of feeling resentful and acting in passive-aggressive ways).
What does honesty actually look like?
It starts with sitting with an emotion or a thought without trying to change it. It starts with letting whatever arises to actually arise.
I am sad. I am happy when I’m not with that person. I feel anxious when I think about going to work. I don’t like how I feel (or how I act) when I’m with that group of people. I don’t like how I am when I drink. I don’t think I want to do this anymore. I have not recovered from this pain. I am still grieving. I am not OK.
It can be scary to be honest, especially when there is tension and uncertainty and anxiety and shame. It’s of course much easier, in a way, to pretend that everything is fine, and good, and even happy (at least for a time).
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Hazel’s comment
I needed a number of sessions with a counsellor in order to understand my own feelings and try to be honest and not cover everything up.
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