7 Gaslighting Phrases Malignant Narcissists, Sociopaths and Psychopaths Use To Silence You, Translated

a post by Shahida Arabi for the World of Psychology



Gaslighting is an insidious erosion of your sense of reality; it creates a mental fog of epic proportions in the twisted “funhouse” of smoke, mirrors, and distortions that is an abusive relationship. When a malignant narcissist gaslights you, they engage in crazymaking discussions and character assassinations where they challenge and invalidate your thoughts, emotions, perceptions, and sanity. Gaslighting enables narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths to exhaust you to the point where you are unable to fight back. Rather than finding ways to healthily detach from this toxic person, you are sabotaged in your efforts to find a sense of certainty and validation in what you’ve experienced.

The term “gaslighting” originated in Patrick Hamilton’s 1938 play, Gas Light, where a manipulative husband drove his wife to insanity by causing her to question what she experienced. It was further popularized in the 1944 film adaptation, Gaslight, a psychological thriller about a man named Gregory Anton who murders a famous opera singer. He later marries her niece, Paula to convince her she is going crazy to the point of being institutionalized, with the agenda of stealing the rest of her family jewels. According to Dr. George Simon, victims of chronic gaslighting can suffer from a wide array of side effects, including flashbacks, heightened anxiety, intrusive thoughts, a low sense of self-worth, and mental confusion. In cases of severe manipulation and abuse, gaslighting can even lead to suicidal ideation, self-harm, and self-sabotage.

Gaslighting can take many forms – from questioning the status of your mental health to outright challenging your lived experiences. The most dangerous culprits of gaslighting? Malignant narcissists, who, by default, use gaslighting as a strategy to undermine the perception of their victims in order to evade accountability for their abuse. These perpetrators can use gaslighting callously and sadistically because they lack the remorse, empathy, or conscience to have any limits when they terrorize you or covertly provoke you. Gaslighting by a malignant narcissist is covert murder with clean hands, allowing the perpetrator to get away with their mistreatment while depicting the victims as the abusers.

I’ve spoken to thousands of survivors of malignant narcissists who have shared their stories of gaslighting, and below I include the most commonly used phrases malignant narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths employ to terrorize and deplete you, translated into what they really mean.

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How the President’s Communication Style Is Like That of an Abusive Parent

a pot by Edie Weinstein for the World of Psychology blog

Abuse is defined as, “the improper usage or treatment of an entity, often to unfairly or improperly gain benefit. Abuse can come in many forms, such as: physical or verbal maltreatment, injury, assault, violation, rape, unjust practices, crimes, or other types of aggression.”

The more I hear the president speak, the more he presents as an abusive parent, with name-calling, threats and bullying hurled at those who disagree with his policies and public persona. The intention is to control through intimidation in order to maintain his version of reality. This is a common theme among those I have served as a career therapist over the past four decades. Stories from clients of parents who have been verbally and/or physically abusive have ranged from being barraged with disparaging names like ‘loser,’ and ‘incompetent,’ and being demeaned by the parent who considered their child’s needs of little consequence.

Memories of childhood abuse survivors are being triggered by what they witness daily at the hands of this administration. Increasingly, I am hearing it in my office.

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7 Ways to Extinguish Gaslighting

as blog post by Marie Hartwell-Walker for the World of Psychology blog



The term “gaslighting” has been coined from a 1944 movie in which a husband who is trying to steal his wife’s inheritance convinces her that she is imagining things when she starts to notice odd and furtive behavior on his part. Their gas lights flicker whenever he is in the attic, searching for jewels he thinks are hidden there. He convinces her that she’s imagining things. Gradually, his lies and manipulation make her, and other people, question her sanity. Gaslighting has become a useful term for what goes on in some emotionally abusive relationships.

When gaslighting, the abuser finds a way to make the victim think she or he is “crazy” by steadily questioning their perception of reality. It only works because the abuser also knows how to appear like a friendly, even loving, concerned friend, lover or work supervisor at least some of the time. The victim can’t believe that someone who loves or cares for them would purposefully and systematically try to hurt them.

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There are several useful suggestions (not all seven will apply to every case) and links for further reading.

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