The Secret to Ending Your Suffering

a post by Matt Hattersley for the Tiny Buddha blog


“You can have your experience without your experience having you.” ~Linda Pransky

You’re no doubt aware that your moods can fluctuate from day to day, even moment to moment. I think most people can appreciate, when they really consider it, that their state of mind is a big variable in their experience of life. What they don’t always see is that their state of mind is responsible for 100 percent of their experience.

The problem is, it’s often hard to remember this or feel consoled by this when you’re stuck, living in your head, feeling bad.

When you’re stuck in anxious, insecure thinking it can often seem like this way of being is here to stay. It can also seem like the bad feeling is caused by a variety of external things: our partners, our bank balance, what’s happening in the world, or indeed hundreds of other possible situations that all get the blame.

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Take Back Your Power: Let Go of Blame and Focus on the Lesson

a post by Christine Rodriguez for the Tiny Buddha blog

“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.” ~Robert Anthony    

Blame is seductive because it makes us right and them wrong. For a moment, it feels good to say, “It was their fault,” but in the long run holding on to blame only hurts us and does absolutely nothing to help our evolution. In fact, it keeps us stuck.

But, I get it. When we feel wronged, upset, and angry, that person is the only one to blame.

I understand that some things are so egregious and so unforgivable that it seems impossible to not default to blame. It’s almost instinctual. We are hard wired to blame.

But I have come to learn the hard way that when we blame others, we avoid seeing the truth about ourselves. When we focus on what someone else did wrong, we’re not able to see our part and learn about what we need to do differently going forward.

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How We Can Stop Arguing and Start Understanding Each Other

a post by Sara Fabian for the Tiny Buddha blog


“Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.” ~Rumi

One of the most common sources of conflict among people is in the way we communicate. Often times, conflicts arise because of the variety of our opinions and beliefs, and also from the way we express our thoughts and communicate disagreement.

A blaming, sometimes even aggressive tone of voice can seep into our language, which invites confrontation instead of collaboration, and conveys a closed “my way or no way” kind of approach.

Looking back on my past, I can recall myself during my childhood years, when anything felt possible. In my world, full of playfulness, creativity, and fun, things were straightforward and clear. Whenever I was hungry, I made sure my mother knew about that. When I was afraid, sad, or upset, I said so. Whenever I wanted anything, I asked for it.

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Hazel’s comment:
This is one of the most constructive pieces I have read in ages for me.
I hope that it helps somebody else too.

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