How I Started Enjoying My Alone Time Instead of Feeling Lonely

a post by Lesa Ashlea Rankin for the Tiny Buddha blog



“The only way we can change the way we feel is by becoming aware of our inner experience and learning to befriend what is going inside ourselves.” ~Bessel A. van der Kolk

Learning to be alone as an adult has been a struggle for me. It’s taken quite a while for me to adjust to spending periods of time by myself. It may sound strange to those who know me because I am most definitely an introvert and need my quiet time. However, my time alone was never quite as satisfying as I’d hoped it would be.

Often my solitude dissolved into sadness, and I didn’t have a particular reason why. My alone time wasn’t productive, and it just made me feel out of sorts. It was frustrating because I knew I needed time to myself, but I couldn’t stand to be alone.

Once I began to get curious about the sadness and apathy I’d feel when I was alone, things started to shift.

One day, I noticed that a particular script would begin to play in my mind over and over again. No matter what time of day or the length of alone time, I could begin to hear it play. It said, “You are alone. You are always going to be alone. No one could truly love you. You are unworthy of love.” This tape has played for so long I am unsure if it will ever fully go away.

Continue reading

---

Typologies of loneliness, living alone and social isolation, and their associations with physical and mental health

an article by Kimberley J. Smith (University of Surrey, Guildford, UK) and Christina Victor (Brunel University London, Uxbridge, UK) published in Ageing & Society Volume 39 Issue 8 (August 2019)

Abstract

The relationship between living alone, loneliness and social isolation, and how they are associated with health remain contentious.

We sought to explore typologies based on shared experiences of loneliness, social isolation and living alone using Latent Class Analysis and determine how these groups may differ in terms of their physical and mental health. We used Wave 7 of the English Longitudinal Study of Ageing (N = 7,032; mean age = 67.3) and responses to the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) loneliness scale, household composition, participation in social/societal activities plus frequency of contact with friends, family and relatives for the Latent Class Analysis.

The optimal number of groups was identified using model-fit criteria. The socio-demographic characteristics of groups and health outcomes were explored using descriptive statistics and logistic regression.

We identified a six-cluster typology:

• Group 1, no loneliness or isolation;
• Group 2, moderate loneliness;
• Group 3, living alone;
• Group 4, moderate isolation;
• Group 5, moderate loneliness, living alone; and
• Group 6, high loneliness, moderate isolation (with high likelihood of living alone).

Groups experiencing loneliness and/or isolation were more likely to report poorer physical and mental health even after adjusting for socio-demographic confounders, this was particularly notable for Group 6. Our results indicate that different typologies of living alone, loneliness and isolation can be identified using data-driven techniques, and can be differentiated by the number and severity of issues they experience.

Full text (PDF 22pp)

---